The Philippine Wife – The “Asawa” (Moved to

My Asawa Loves Zumba

My Asawa Loves Zumba

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There are many obvious and untold reasons why I love my asawa (pictured here) but, I won’t detail or discect our relationship here out of respect for her, not to mention it could land me in hot water with the further possibility of  “bolo” justice being levied on me. Just kidding. But I can tell you however, that finding that special Filipina woman can be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. While there are beautiful women in every race known to man, Filipina women are known to be some of the most beautiful women in the world and have won the hearts of men of all different nationalities from across the globe. The ethnic ancestry of a Filipina woman can result from a rich mix of Asian or half Asian, Spanish, Portuguese, Malay, Chinese and even Caucasian and Negro, and explains the diverse differences in skin complexions that range from dark brown to soft olive to light tan. The mix of Caucasian and Filipina has been known to produce some of the lightest skinned and most beautiful Asian children.

Beauty, more than skin deep!

Beauty, more than skin deep!

Aside from their beauty, Filipina women are generally shy. This is deeply rooted in their conservative upbringing and totally unlike western cultures where being liberal is widely accepted. Dating conservative Filipina women is not like dating western women. Courtship more accurately describes the process of dating in the Philippines where it takes much more time and effort to get to know her. Call it old fashioned if you will, but this is just one important character trait that makes the Filipina so attractive to western men looking away from liberal women for a more traditional wife. I’ll probably take some heat here from the more liberated women in western societies for describing it like this, but it is what it is.

Negrito Family in Philippines

Negrito Family in Philippines

While I have been happily married to my wife going on 27 years, and from what I know, little has changed with the customs of courting the ladies in the Philippines. Okay yes, you can go to the larger cities like Manila and Cebu and find those more liberated ladies for the one-night stands or the quickie relationships, but once you venture out into the provincial areas of the country, things can get back to basics, complete with the full set of dating rules, rather quickly.  Courting a woman in the province can mean fully chaperoned dates and then sit down meetings or dinner with the parents, aunts and uncles, even grandparents…and it’s all considered a normal part of the dating and approval process. Many times it will take several dates and family approval before you can be left to date alone, and then you will probably have to have her home before dark!

Just as in every other corner of the western world where you find that women may be more attracted to your wallet, your job, and your looks, the Philippines is not much different except that the numbers of women that approach man-hunting in this way are in the minority. The good, well grounded Filipina women tend not to be particularly concerned with looks as they will be more focused on personality. While money and potential security are a big plus when looking for a man, if you have the personal traits that a Filipina woman looks for, then there’s a big chance you will win her heart. Filipina women like men who are sincere and honest. Patience is also a virtue and is why it takes longer to court a Filipina woman. Patience is a good indicator of the sincerity of your intentions.  There are many desirable virtues that the Filipina holds that will overshadow their western counterparts, most which can be described as or based in traditional values. Trusting, faithful, honest, sincere, kind, thoughtful, and loving, are some of the adjectives used to describe the Filipina. “Appreciative” is also an attribute that is high on the list but that trait is not reserved for the women folk alone. Filipinos in general are raised to sincerely appreciate what they have or have been given.

Pretty Filipina

Pretty Filipina

Dating women in the Philippines is a subject that is well documented by many, many others, so I won’t attempt to re-write the book here. Also, don’t take what I’ve presented here as totally factual. There is much truth in what I have just described here but, before you go make some immediate wild decision to quit your job and launch your search in finding a Filipina mate, there is much more to these little beauties that meets the eye. One of the first steps in knowing whether a Filipina wife will be right for you is a compete understanding of the culture in which they are raised. For example, one thing to understand is this: her family will usually always come before you. Because there are many complex character and cultural differences between westerners and Filipinos, I am going to suggest you visit other blogs and forums to gain a more complete understanding of the culture and better insight into the dating scene…the current dating scene!

For a more account of meeting women from the perspective of someone with boots on the ground – now – and being waist deep into the dating scene, I will now introduce my friend Henry. Henry arrived in the Philippines almost 8 months ago and has written much more than I could on the topic of the “current” dating scene. He provides a “real” take on some do’s and don’ts, and highlights some common misconceptions about developing relationships with Filipina women.  Henry also offers up his detailed adventures on developing new relationships in general, and the expectations thereafter.

But before I send you off to some other blog, I will say thanks for visiting and I ask that you bookmark this site and please come back to visit. Also, please be kind and leave me with some comments as to how you feel about this site and it’s content. Your comments will help me to better provide information going forward that is most relevant to living in the Philippines.



Visit Henry’s “Life Beyond the Sea” for his latest article titled “So What’s The Big Deal About Filipinas? and current dating information.  Good luck with finding your Filipina heart!

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About RandyL

I first arrived the Western Pacific (Guam) in 1974 and for several years, I lived and traveled across the Pacific region and fell in love with the SE Asian lifestyle. Once bitten by it's culture bug, it never really lets go, and lingers on as a permanent affliction...forever. So henceforth, myself and my Filipina bride of 26 years, have decided that our best antidote is to simply return to the Philippines and take up residence in the Eastern Visayas on Samar Island. Our mission - to step back in time, relax, live....and Discover Samar Island before others do! Please visit my Blog for information that might help or inspire you to find your island in life.
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19 Responses to The Philippine Wife – The “Asawa” (Moved to

  1. Randy:

    So envious of your 27 years together. I believe I have found my asawa and have begun the K-1 process. Not sure whether at my age I will get 27 years, but whatever we get together I will enjoy to the fullest!

  2. RandyL says:

    Thanks for visiting and your kind comment. Hope the best for you and your fiance and remember that love is not measured in years, but rather by quality of the life you spend with her.

  3. Boss says:

    Pinay can be amazingly good women. Get the the right one for you and life will be mostly sweet. As for your Pinay wife putting her family ahead of you, yes she will in most cases.

  4. Hola Randy, thanks for the recommendation to my site. What you wrote here is true, summed up [quote] “Just as in every other corner of the western world where you find that women may be more attracted to your wallet, your job, and your looks, the Philippines is not much different except that the numbers of women that approach man-hunting in this way are in the minority. The good, well grounded Filipina women tend not to be particularly concerned with looks as they will be more focused on personality.” [end quote]

    There is no such thing as any group of anyone being ‘all’ good or bad. What makes Filipina women such a draw for men from all over the world is that, as you mentioned, the ratio of women here raised with old-school values is very high compared to the West and Europe. Women here are taught since they are little girls that part of being a good Catholic is to love their husband, respect him and be faithful to him. Along the way, as they grow up.. yes, some women abandon their roots for Western ‘individualism’ and end up as confused, selfish and demanding as what we are used to in our home countries. However.. the majority of them retain the values of being a loving wife and are very appreciative to a good man who loves them in return.

    One last thought as a tangent.. not all foreign men are ‘good guys’ either. Some come and abuse the kindnesses of Filipina women and I have no tolerance for it. If a man is lucky enough to find himself a loving Filipina who accepts him as he is.. he ought to treat her like gold the rest of her life. If not, then he should not get married, just stick with being a bachelor and spend his time with the ‘contemporary’ Filipinas who likewise have learned to play the field.

  5. Rick Kern says:

    Sounds great to me. I will sure find out in June when I get there to finally personally meet my dream lady. At my age I know I won’t make it another 27 years but I intend to live my remaining years in happiness.

  6. RandyL says:

    With a good woman and living in the Philippines, you will learn to enjoy life to it’s fullest, one day at a time. Treat her special and you will be treated royally in return!

  7. Mark G. says:

    Nice article Randy. My wife is very much the modern woman and and our actual relationship started after two and a half years of chatting on the web. When we finally met it was like we already knew each other and things progressed from there. She is very conservative but she has a playful streak and life is always interesting. Most of what you say is true but we never had the chaperoned dates. The family knew who I was already, lol.

  8. RandyL says:

    Thank you Mark. I’m sure it would have been a different story had you met her in person first! Hurry up and get there will ya! We’re gonna have to get together one day and eat, drink….

  9. John Jackson says:

    27 years of marriage. I remember that for my wife and I. That was in April 2007. I believe we went to a Japanese restaurant that anniversary. I can’t remember them all. I didn’t have to worry about any of the Filipino customs when I first got married and really never at all. You can read why at this link: . It is the story of how my wife and I met and the little problems we encountered. I think that if I was looking for a wife though, it would be a Filipina, without question. Finding a wife is easy, finding a good wife takes some work or some luck. Me, I got lucky.

  10. RandyL says:

    John, you didn’t have to endure the dating customs because Lita was already westernized! lol I think finding a good wife takes a bit of luck regardless of where she comes from. It’s just More Fun in the Philippines! And for all you forgetful types that may read this, Valentines day is just around the corner! (hint)

  11. RandyL says:

    Henry, unfortunately over the years, we have seen some real losers shop their wives online, take one trip to that country, complete the paperwork and bring her home…to “hell!” One Filipina we came to know settled here only to realize after about 6 months that she had taken a big step down and found herself married to a drunken abusive redneck with no job (and no teeth) and no future. She finally managed to escape his clutches as it took a couple of years to final her divorce. Life in America became a nightmare for her. There are many more stories of young ‘unknowing’ women who come to the U.S. with the idea that their life will be a bed of roses only to have all their hopes and dreams shattered when they wind up in such undesirable situations. It’s not always a Cinderella story. 😦

  12. I hate predators.. whether they be foreign men abusing women or foreign women looking to financially guy a nice guy. (Happened to a friend of mine, she took him for all he was worth, including half his retirement 401(k)) Just another reason why I tell people to spend ‘minimum’.. one year knowing the person IN PERSON, not online.

  13. RandyL says:

    It’s probably a good idea to sign a pre-nup these days as it’s hard to trust anyone. My dad used to say you could sum up someone’s character by looking in their eyes while measuring their handshake grip. Not so much these days.

  14. Very true. All the more reason I endorse spending a year of ‘real-life dating’, in person before getting married. And that’s a minimum. Time weeds out impatient scammers.

  15. RandyL says:

    I spent a year dating (carousing) in Olongapo…liked to kill me! 😉

  16. Shella says:

    You’re welcome Shella! I always love talking about how Filipinas make good wifes. I try never to get on my asawa’s wrong side though!

  17. timothy hoenes says:

    great information been married to my flipina wife for 38 years we go to taft in eastern samar have a large family home visit every year will be there for Christmas/new years 2013 maybe you can visit?

  18. Filipino says:

    I think the unique feature that most Western men love about Filipino girls is the good smell and new fresh body every day. Most of Filipina ladies pay attention to the way they dress and wear every night. No wondering when they are selected from men in the West.

  19. Jenny Lam says:

    Good choice. Filipino women are the most stunning women on this planet. There are no ugly Filipino women, you know? I mean, Filipino women are thin and small. OK, some Western guys complain about too skinny Filipino ladies but they are beautiful. What else do you need from a girl?

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